*Fiiiiiine, maybe not every morning, but many many many mornings, and many many times when I don't want to get out of bed. No, but really, there are many people that ring that doorbell...
13. Nature's Basket delivery – OK, to be fair we call Nature's Basket (NB) usually every other day for our daily necessities (who can live without 'near organic' eggs?). But, still! Also, it's sad but true that NB's number is always in my most recent called list. Either I call them too much or don't have enough friends (both are plausible explanations).
12. Water delivery – We also call Empee stores (yes, that's the real name) thrice a week, but it's the only way to get potable water to the house! Also, side note, if the manager says, "Anything else madam? We sell everything for you people" again on the phone, I will likely lose my shit.
10. Random new maid looking for work – This could be helpful in case Sunita/Manoj decide not to come but it generally is an awkward interaction in which I end up promising something I don't mean to and then, well, I feel bad.
9. Trash boy – Yes, I call him a boy because he actually should be in school, a topic we've broached a few times to no avail. Alas. He gets mad when I try to put my trash downstairs so he doesn't have to ring my doorbell and calls me Auntie (an issue I will take up at another time)... clearly he's not one of my favorites.
8.5. Trash boy (again) – This time, he comes to take our glass bottles and pays us 1 Rs. for each of them (yes, I generally feel judged at the amount of bottles we have but no, not bad enough to stop calling him). Recycling is happening but at the expense of his education (pun intended) and my uninterrupted morning sleep.
8. Ironwala – No explanation needed. He's also really fast so most of the time we're just super confused like, "Huh, who is it now?!"
7. Sabjiwala – Despite repeated attempts to explain that we really don't want to buy veggies at 9 am and that we promise to call when we have a vegetable or mango craving, he still comes to the door. I think there's something else going on... I defer to my flatmates to explain.
6. Plumber (or another maintenance man that was supposed to come the day before) – It ain't easy running a house! (Case in point: How-to: Get a Cooking Gas Connection in Delhi)
5. Electricity bill delivery man – I mean, really? Isn't this why mailboxes were invented? ...And the Internets?
4. Water meter checker man – Yaar, check the meter yourself! But to be fair, homeboy did help a sistah get some work done with the Delhi Water Board, which is next to impossible (but apparently, not next to free... the price you pay for government services, I mean...).
3. Newspaper seller – Take your headphones out and write down what we're saying... WE DON'T WANT THE TIMES OF INDIA! OK? OK.
2. Old newspaper buyer (aka kabadiwala) – The sound of him screaming 'kaaaaabaaaaadiiii' when cycling down the street is actually one of my favorite things about Delhi and has been since I was a kid. Anyway, he also pays us for our old newspapers, so, yeah, I like him.
1. Flipkart delivery dude – Yes, dude. Officially my favorite door bell ringer. He brings fun books that I can track on the Flipkart website and even though the card reader doesn't work, he had a big smile on his face and offered to drive me to the ATM. FedEx 2.0?
Looking at this list / hearing the doorbell ring over a dozen times every day for a random assortment of boys, men, walas, and dudes often makes me want to a). Kill myself, b). Permanently disconnect my doorbell, or c). Move to an island.
Unless, that is, I can figure out how to have a hot guy ring the doorbell... doorbell 2.0 + shaadi.com 2.0 = where are you?!
13. Nature's Basket delivery – OK, to be fair we call Nature's Basket (NB) usually every other day for our daily necessities (who can live without 'near organic' eggs?). But, still! Also, it's sad but true that NB's number is always in my most recent called list. Either I call them too much or don't have enough friends (both are plausible explanations).
12. Water delivery – We also call Empee stores (yes, that's the real name) thrice a week, but it's the only way to get potable water to the house! Also, side note, if the manager says, "Anything else madam? We sell everything for you people" again on the phone, I will likely lose my shit.
11. Sunita (and sometimes, Manoj) – My favorite husband and wife (admittedly, the only one I know) domestic help duo that used to work for my Grandma back in the day. Although Manoj only graces us with his presence from time to time, his positive feedback on my music selection and his stories about working in the Bollywood film industry indeed make him more fun than Sunita.
9. Trash boy – Yes, I call him a boy because he actually should be in school, a topic we've broached a few times to no avail. Alas. He gets mad when I try to put my trash downstairs so he doesn't have to ring my doorbell and calls me Auntie (an issue I will take up at another time)... clearly he's not one of my favorites.
8.5. Trash boy (again) – This time, he comes to take our glass bottles and pays us 1 Rs. for each of them (yes, I generally feel judged at the amount of bottles we have but no, not bad enough to stop calling him). Recycling is happening but at the expense of his education (pun intended) and my uninterrupted morning sleep.
8. Ironwala – No explanation needed. He's also really fast so most of the time we're just super confused like, "Huh, who is it now?!"
7. Sabjiwala – Despite repeated attempts to explain that we really don't want to buy veggies at 9 am and that we promise to call when we have a vegetable or mango craving, he still comes to the door. I think there's something else going on... I defer to my flatmates to explain.
6. Plumber (or another maintenance man that was supposed to come the day before) – It ain't easy running a house! (Case in point: How-to: Get a Cooking Gas Connection in Delhi)
5. Electricity bill delivery man – I mean, really? Isn't this why mailboxes were invented? ...And the Internets?
4. Water meter checker man – Yaar, check the meter yourself! But to be fair, homeboy did help a sistah get some work done with the Delhi Water Board, which is next to impossible (but apparently, not next to free... the price you pay for government services, I mean...).
3. Newspaper seller – Take your headphones out and write down what we're saying... WE DON'T WANT THE TIMES OF INDIA! OK? OK.
2. Old newspaper buyer (aka kabadiwala) – The sound of him screaming 'kaaaaabaaaaadiiii' when cycling down the street is actually one of my favorite things about Delhi and has been since I was a kid. Anyway, he also pays us for our old newspapers, so, yeah, I like him.
1. Flipkart delivery dude – Yes, dude. Officially my favorite door bell ringer. He brings fun books that I can track on the Flipkart website and even though the card reader doesn't work, he had a big smile on his face and offered to drive me to the ATM. FedEx 2.0?
Looking at this list / hearing the doorbell ring over a dozen times every day for a random assortment of boys, men, walas, and dudes often makes me want to a). Kill myself, b). Permanently disconnect my doorbell, or c). Move to an island.
Unless, that is, I can figure out how to have a hot guy ring the doorbell... doorbell 2.0 + shaadi.com 2.0 = where are you?!
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