8. Number of Times Auto-Wallah Spits While Vehicle is in Motion × Number of Times Auto-Wallah Stops Auto-Rickshaw to Pee on Roadside While Passengers Wait Inside > Grossness of Accidentally Stepping in Cow Shit in Sandals While Leaving Your House En Route to Hip-Hop Night at a Dance Club
7. 4 Passengers in Auto-Rickshaw = 3 People Squished in Back Seat + 1 Brave Soul Sitting Next to Auto-Wallah × Number of Times Required For Front Passenger to Physically Exit Auto-Rickshaw So Driver Can Restart Engine
6. Confusion of Name & Exact Location of My Flat + Drop-Off in Front of My Door ≠ Permission to Request Additional Rupees At Time of Payment and Freedom to Dole Out Insults for "Well-Educated People Complaining About 10 Rupees"
5. Semi-English Speaking Auto-Wallah + Look of Semi-Understanding About Requested Location= High Bargaining Power and Ability To Charge Up To 2X Accepted Amount
4. No Patrol + 5 minute Unannounced Stop at Gas Station = Guaranteed Tardiness at Any & All Important Events
3. Cost in Rupees for a Ride ÷ n Number of Kilometres Actually Traveled (where n= ∞) ≥ Actively Throwing Money Out of The Side of Said Auto-Rickshaw
2. Nightime Charge × (Number of One-way streets + Number of Flyovers + Possibility of Traffic + Road Construction) – Acceptance for Drop-Off On Opposite Side of Street = 5X Price in All Other Major Metros in India
1. No English + No Hindi + No Idea Where Requested Passenger Drop-Off is Located = Excuse To Stop Random White People on Road at IIT To Make Passenger Awkwardly Try and Escape Said Situation
These are just off the top of my head...maybe this guy is different...although, probably not :)
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