The 9 best things about the 2 week+ wedding that changed the lives of at least 3 Bhatias forever...

(Those 3 would be papa bhatia, mama bhatia and of course, Monish, but I would beg to differ that the wedding changed my life as well because it made me re-evaluate my calling as a wedding planner. For those of you in attendance at one or any part of the festivities, feel free to dispute or well, even support said calling.)

Just a warning, I am mixing sappy + happy...but only because I think my intentional slant towards funny vs. mushy at the SF wedding made some people doubt my love for the bro bro...when in reality I was just doubting my own ability to not breakdown sobbing in front of a crowd of 200+.

Anyway...some might ask, "Was it worth it to take 6 weeks off of your life sans job or paycheck, living out of a suitcase, to do this?" I think it was. And, well frankly, I'd do it again. (Don't get the wrong idea, Mo, only once for you!)

9. Having an Entourage. 2 weeks of craziness traveling from coast to coast with parties and events every night was unforgettable. Buuut, traveling with an entourage of 15+ people is just plain baller. In addition to my immediate family (17 Tremore what what!) we had relatives visiting from India as well as friends from Toledo that came all the way to SF to celebrate and the 918 Simpson crew from Northwestern came out to Toledo to party! It has made the last 4 days (post wedding letdown) feel very very very lonely.

8. The Horse. For those of you unfamiliar with Indian weddings, I recommend immediately befriending an Indo male who is of ripe marrying age so you can be part of his baraat, the marriage procession with friends and family that leads the groom-to-be to meet his bride-to-be and her family. It was, in our case, an hour full of dancing and singing aided by a single lane closure and multiple permits right in the heart of downtown San Francisco.


7. Jignesh Bhai. A very nice and sweet young man slash possibly a priest who helped me in the process of buying all the Indian sweets for the wedding from a Temple in Milpitas. It was the first time anyone has ever called me Pooja Ben (pronounced POO-JAH BAAAN translating literally as "Pooja sister") and it felt so endearing I considered making business cards to match. I also for a (very very very) brief second wished I was Gujarati so I could call others and always be called Ben (again, pronounced BAAAAN, meaning sister).

6. Welcome Bags. Anyone? Anyone? Well, they were assembled and delivered and definitely hands-down my favorite "task" of my time in SF. I hope people enjoyed their hand at the Monish & Nivita crossword puzzle as much as I enjoyed the 5 step process in making it.

5. The Baumeister. Aka Bauji aka my 89-year old grandpa who came all the way from India for the first time in 10 years because "I told myself I wouldn't come back to America until Monish got married." Bauji climbed twin peaks with us, he raved about naan 'n curry, he danced at all the events till the mean adults made him sit down and rest, he spoke words of wisdom in Urdu at all the important times, he drank and drank and drank, his hand of three Kings during a family game of Flash (sort of the Indian version of Poker) put us all to shame slash made us realize how awesome he is, but most of all, in all seriousness, he was the life of the party.

4. Sloane. 80 of Mo's "best" friends, my SF posse, our sister and cousin, Bunty, from India, drank the night away listening to amazingly shitty hip hop. After being ridiculed at the liquor store when buying a $4.99 bottle of Cooks to kick the night off, the night quickly turned awesome when we rolled in in style, were sippin Goose all night and kicked off the celebrations with very bad hangovers.

3. Floating Candles & Garageband. I know everything there is to know about floating candles and Garageband. I'm serious. In fact, I highly recommend floating candles for decoration (beware, some places require a 3 in. minimum from the top of the flame to the lip of the bowl as per fire regulations) as I think it makes an event look classy and gives it a touch of Indo-ness. Also, Garageband is the best.program.ever for editing songs. I think I spent more time doing just that instead of, say, going to my last three yoga classes at Yoga Tree.

2. Cheesy Rhyming Poems. Mama Bhatia is a rhymer. Every poem she has ever written must rhyme at the end of every stanza. I grew up with a strong dislike for rhyming poems. Until that is, I realized that Indo weddings have a bagillion events and sappy toasts or stories about my brother that no one wants to hear get old really fast. But cheesy rhyming poems last. In fact, they go a longgg way. Trust me, believe what I say.

1. Crepes A Go Go. Twas the night of the Sangeet and the clock had struck midnight. All the guests had dispersed and Mo and I were overseeing some of the teardown of the event. I hadn't drank that night (no, not because I was instructed strictly by mama bhatia not to drink at any official Bhatia function) because I was still hungover from Sloane (see #4) and realized that I could drop Mo off before heading back to the hotel downtown...when all of a sudden we both looked at each other and said, "Are you hungry?" It was a Friday night and we both were starved not having eaten much during the party...6 minutes later we found ourselves enjoying $8 crepes both dressed in traditional Indian garb from head to toe standing at an outdoor street food vendor surrounded by drunken bar goers in SF's SOMA district. It was at that moment that I realized weddings were full of priceless moments when you least expect them. Not even a glass of Blue Label could have beat it.